Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Baltimore restaurant wins James Beard Award - WBAL-TV

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Bruins acquire former first-round pick in trade with Blackhawks - Boston.com

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Webb Captures a Cosmic Forest of Ancient Galaxies - PetaPixel

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I see through liars

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Psilocybin induces large-scale brain network reorganization, offering insights into the psychedelic state - PsyPost

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I actually pay taxes

Why do some people dislike Gilmore girls?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can count

Can you explain the difference between sunblock and sunscreen for the face? Which one is more suitable for oily skin?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Buffett Donates $6 Billion in Berkshire Stock to 5 Charities in Annual Gift - Barron's

I have complete contempt for fakery

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand how hurricane paths work

Civilization VII patch lets you turn off some controversial new features - Ars Technica

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy bullshit

‘Hamilton’ Original Cast Reunites for Tony Awards Medley — Watch - The Hollywood Reporter

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What do you think of the Black history lessons in the PBS documentary about jazz pianist-singer Hazel Scott?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

BBC Stands By Newsreader Who Corrected Autocue From “Pregnant People” To “Women” - Deadline

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read